Thursday, December 20, 2012

Getting along at Christmas time

       I heard it said that the best topic to write about is people's personal demons. But what is a demon? Is it that little internal nudge that makes you do what you don't want or stops you from doing what you should? Maybe it's that anger or drinking problem? Whatever pet peeve it is, it causes you to do something or feel negative. Well, guess what? There's a solution.

       Many of these issues have their genesis in our emotional pools or reserves, which we gained in childhood. This is an extensive though not unfathomable study, one which many could benefit from. An example would be an unmet need from childhood, like attention from one's parents, which causes us to get angry as adults when we are ignored in some way - could be someone who cuts us off in traffic or texts while talking to us. Whatever the trigger, our negative response comes from the pool of emotion we gained as kids when our folks did not pay attention to us - this may be true or may have been our perception.

       But what can we do about it? Feel through the emotion from your childhood and the negative emotional response we are having in adulthood will subside. Wow!! Easy to say but hard to do. We may need the help of a therapist to help us make the connections between our adult issues and the childhood experiences that are at the root of these disconnected behaviors.

       Janice Berger has been doing this work for over 25 years and has helped many people to emotional  wellness. She has authored an excellent book on the topic which I found very insightful.

No comments:

Post a Comment